Our first trial..

Now that we have settled down and with some savings, we plan to have a baby the second year. We prayed about it and waited for God's timing. I have had history of UTI problem (urinary tract infection) and frequently on antibiotics. In Oct 2000, my menses was late by 2 weeks and after tested negative from a home pregnancy test and from a panel clinic I went for treatment for my UTI problem, due to the recurrence problem the doctor decided to give me a stronger antibiotic jab, confirmed that I was not pregnant, we agreed to the jab. Two weeks passed and still no sign of my menses... decided to visit a gynae to sort out the root cause... I was shocked to find out that I was 5 weeks pregnant!

I was happy and at the same time worried as I recalled the jab that I took two weeks back. I called the doctor that gave me the jab and he was quite worried too but since I'm certified pregnant, we will have to wait and see. At the mean time, hubby and I were excited over the thought of becoming parents...

A week passed and one morning I experienced some spotting, went to the gynae and he gave me a jab to stabilize the baby, the spotting stopped but recurred a few days later. An ultrasound scan revealed that the baby was not growing, heartbeat was not detected and I may need to go for a D&C... well, that was the most heartbroken news to hear as a new parent, hubby and I prayed and wept together... we went for a second opinion, went for another jab but unfortunately nothing can stop the work of nature, I had a miscarriage two days later...

I went through a period of depression and kept on thinking about my lost baby, is the baby a boy or a girl, blaming myself for the jab I've taken and went through an emotional cycle of ups and downs. I'm sure hubby's lost was just as deep as mine. I remember during those trial moments all we did were prayed and wept, prayed and wept, prayed and wept......

The sight of babies and pictures of them were enough to send me back to my cocoon and thought of my lost baby... but God is good, somehow time do heals. Hubby and I picked up from where we left and by God's grace we manage to deal with the lost. The way to deal with the lost is to face it and to talk about it. Whenever I heard about couples facing the same situation, I am compeled to approach and comfort them, as I comfort them I found myself comforted as well. The promises that God will not let us bear beyond what we can bear is so true and His grace is indeed sufficient for all of us.

As I recalled, I thank God for this experience for I know He wants to use us to comfort others in the same situation and as a result my relationship with hubby deepens.

In year 2000, we managed to travel quite a bit also... first to Perth (a second honeymoon) and Japan (a trip sponsored by my previous company).. enjoy the shots..