Monday, November 2, 2009

Communication Essence of a Healthy Marriage

I remembered many years ago, my boss told us, a group of managers that the essence of good leadership is good communication and she started to share a series of training which included what is true communication, the importance of it and also the consequences if good communication is not present.

As God has blessed my marriage, I truly believe that apart from letting God to be the head of the sacred communion (this is vital and most important), good communication between hubby and I sealed our marriage. Many couples do not have problem communicating during those courting years but many did in their marriage later on.

Of course not everything is smooth sailing between hubby and I but as we thread this journey together, we realized communication is very important and essence to a healthy marriage.

Communication is more than talking verbally to your partner, that is talking… communication is both giving and receiving at the same time. I realized when we live for ourselves rather than for one another and with one another, then that is the very moment we stop communicating.

There’s no doubt that as partner of lives, we are still entitled to time of our own, doing things that we like and spending time with people whom we cherished but as husband and wife especially for those who are married for years, sometimes we just stop communicating (maybe we think we know each other too well or simply we do not have to… thinking each should understand our body language after many years being together). I believe if that happens, Satan has succeeded in his first attempt.

Many couples have lost their first love for their partner, being together is more like a commitment rather than emotional feeling for one another. Wives are preoccupied with the welfare of the children and household, husbands are busy with building careers, all these are done for the sake of the family, but sometimes all these are done at the expense of our other half.

How would we treat our other half? Our spouse is like our other half, would we stop feeding the other half after many years, definitely no, if we were to do that then it is like a slow death, slowly depriving our other half of the nutrients that is required for continual growth. Stop communicating is the very first sign of us neglecting and depriving the other half and soon it may be too late to feed the other half once cracks start developing…

For those who have not stopped communicating with your spouse, I wish you well, keep on the good work, and find creative ways to communicate with your other half. Let us kneel down and pray that God will protect the many marriage unions that has stop communicating, healed the hurts and revived their hearts that they will truly start communicating again.
To end this, I would like to share how hubby and I communicate; we want to bless you as God bless us.

1) Find time to cook him his favorite meal, not the children’s for I always agreed to this old phrase – “The way to the man’s heart is through his stomach”
2) Iron for him for this is the thing I hate most, by ironing his shirts; he knows that I love him…
3) Prepare the kids early to bed, so that both of us have time to talk and share what has happened in a peaceful environment.
4) Let him do his favorite things but with the understanding of the time he will be away.
5) Tell him what is bothering you, trust me, men will not just know
6) Teach the children to value, honor and respect their father
7) Dress up just for him, put on perfume... and gifts from him
8) Date him….
9) Tell him you need his time
10) Submit to him

1) Remembers my birthday and our wedding anniversary
2) Takes the effort to plan something memorable for those special dates
3) Reminds me of his love frequently through e-mails, sms, msn…
4) Buys me gifts randomly
5) Washes my car
6) Irons for me when he has to do the ironing himself
7) Dates me
8) Holds my hand
9) Communicates with me
10) Teaches me and uphold me in my biblical understanding
11) Is sensitive towards my needs

So you see communication is hard labor, if your other half is worth your time to court before marriage and spent hours communicating before marriage, how much more you need to court and communicate with her/him for the years to come. It is our prayers that you find the joy and fruit of your effort... please do not stop communicating and let Satan become a foothold in your marriage.

1 comment:

Little Inbox said...

I still feel like I'm courting with him after so many years getting together, sweet sweet. :)


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